the whirlwind called life

Originally Posted on MySpace Blog

Seriously, I'm starting to hate writing on this laptop. I'm now on blog writing attempt number 3!

It's been a while since I've written anything but it's been a little crazy. A chunk of this may just sound like me bitching but I need to get it out. Its just been swirling around in my head for so long and well I haven't really had anyone to talk to about it. I guess you can just say I'm feeling a bit alone and confused.

I finally sold the house. It was weird emptying it out and seeing it like that. It was a little hard too. I went from having a house to only sort of having a home. I moved out and into a friend/co-worker's place on the 8th and the closing was on the 13th. The closing went amazingly well. Any issue was quickly diverted - mainly by my being overly prepared. I haven't really celebrated. Such a huge thing and well I haven't done shit to enjoy it. It wasn't really for lack of trying. I talked about wanting to go out and celebrate and people either didn't call, called later than previously discussed or well went out with other people and attempted to catch up later. Well, when later came around I just didn't feel like going out. (It was after 9 and a very long day.) I have to admit two of my friends were out of town, so they have the get out of jail free card, but seriously! We all talked about what a momentous occasion it was for me and we discussed how whacked out it may make me... But no - I sat alone.

As a mentioned, I moved in with a friend from work. So far it's been interesting. I didn't know what to expect since besides the ex, I haven't had a roommate since college. Fortunately, he has a house and it's not like dorm room living. hehe. It was nice that he didn't have a ton of furniture so there's actually room for most if not all of my stuff. Not long after I moved in, I met his girl friend for the first time. They've been together for a little bit (a few months?) but I haven't had the chance to meet her before now. She seems nice. I just feel like I'm invading whenever they're around. Oddly enough, even though he said he's rarely home, they seem to be here a lot. Which in a way adds to the whole previous statement of "only sort of having a home." I won't go into it. Let's just say at times it seems a tad "high school" but he seems to be happy with it so whatever I guess...

I don't really know what's up lately. I seem to have a general indifference/unhappiness with most things. It could be due to so much going on in such a short amount of time. Work has been meh. It seems to have lost what luster it ever had. I don't know. I enjoy the people I work with but that's really it right now. Not much seems to be keeping me there - perhaps the discount and the whole I really don't want to look for another job thing. Which of course ties into the I'm struggling with the whole "stay here vs. move back home" thing. The main thing keeping me here is the job. The fact my friends can't really make an effort to be with me during pivotal life moments doesn't bode well for the stay in the Twin Cities vote. Reminds me of figuring out who really seemed to care during the divorce stuff. Then on the other hand, I have people back home who are newer friends due to marriages, etc. who keep asking when I'm moving back. A couple of my "old" friends are bugging me about it too. (No "you know who you are", I'm not calling you old.) Obviously, you can see which city is winning that battle.

Anyhow, moving on. The cats seem to be adjusting well to the new digs. Rufus is overly curious and a pain as normal. Otto was fairly active the first few days but seemed to take a drastic turn not long after. I eventually took him in. The exam looked well but due to the lack of interest in food/water the vet wanted to do some blood work again to help insure he wasn't having renal failure. The first "quick" test came back high. So he took more blood and ran the complete count again. Fortunately, that came back with not much change from the previous tests months back. And what changes there were seemed to go down - not much something like 10.6 to 10.4 but small decimal points on a few factors. So, he's still anemic but it seems he's steady for now. He still likes to pester me multiple times in the morning to give him food, treats, water or more treats. So that is something that I guess you can consider is going somewhat well.

I finally wrote that wedding I'm presiding over next week. I think it sounds pretty good. I had one run through with Molly, who is also the bride's personal attendant. It seemed my potential/normal dates fell through so I opted to invite my mother to the wedding. A little odd yes, however she's excited to see me perform the ceremony and hear my "sermon". It's my big ministerial debut! Will it also be my finale?! Hehe, I guess we'll have to wait and see.

Anyhow, I guess that's all for now. I've bitched enough. I'm sure there's more but I doubt many if any of you got this far. It's about time I hauled my ass to bed.

I remain the confused, forgotten, lonely, awkward, whiny, answer-seeking, fatally ill feline parent that many call...

Franzy